Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Justice Roberts the Fry Judge

This post is a poor attempt at humor.

President Bush has announced his candidate for replacing former Justice Sandra O'Conner on the Supreme Court. As Kathryn Lopez at NRO is collecting from her wager from John Derbyshire , Senator Chuck Schumer is having a cognitive disconnect. Shrill left leaning special interest groups began rallying the forces immediately to attack Justice Roberts. Among the usual concerns about life issues, quota defense, and scary outspoken Christians in the population, comes the most disturbing charge of all:
Roberts ruled against a 12-year old girl who was handcuffed, arrested and taken away by police for eating a single French fry on the D.C. Metro, even though an adult would only have gotten a paper citation in that situation.
Your Senators need to hear from you today — there must not be a rush to confirm John Roberts until all the facts are in! Call and write your Senators to demand that they fulfill their constitutional obligations of advice and consent - our rights hang in the balance!

That's right! Your Constitutional right to eat french fries on public transportation is at stake! Never mind that messy emenint domain nonsense! French fries! Fries have already come under attack from groups demanding goverment regulation. Infringement of civil rights! Wait though! I thought the goverment is supposed to tell me how to eat. I'm so confused. Is french fry regulation a pro or con with this justice? Will it be one of Chuck Schumer's "dumbass questions"? I hope so, Americans need to know just where SCOTUS nominees sit on fry consumption.

Frank J. needs facts about Justice Roberts. I think he is just the man to run down this fry angle.

OK, so here is the fry story. The question is where does he sit on fry consumption?! Chuck Schumer. Paging Chuck Schumer.

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