Thursday, February 16, 2006

Open Letters

Dear Mr. Willis,

Please give back John Bolton's lip caterpillar, it doesn't suit you.

Dear Betty Crocker,

Can you please alter the food coloring shades added to your Garlic and Cheddar Instant Mashed Potatoes? I already know I am earning time in Purgatory for consuming them, and the color frightens my daughter.

Dear Men's Olympic Ice Skaters,

Must you soulfully grab and pull to yourself thin air in every routine? Do you imagine missing a beer thrown to you to perfect that look of soul scorching angst?

Dear Seattle Weather Bunnies,

Will you please stop treating a few late season snow flurries as the "Storm of the Year?" It's February we have alot of year left.

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